Choosing the Proper Wording for Your Wedding Invitations
- In This Quick Guide:
- Invitation Basics
- How to List the Hosts
Many brides-to-be fret when it comes to wedding invitations—what do you say? How do you say it? What is the proper wording etiquette? In this guide, you will learn the proper wording for every occasion and situation, from formal to casual.
Invitation Basics
Before you shop for invitations, get your details straight. Know the exact spelling of the ceremony and reception sites (both the name of the building and the town it’s in), how your parents want their names to appear, if at all, and how many invitations you need. Double-check with your contacts for both the ceremony and the reception to be sure the times you’ve discussed are final.
Order invitations at least 6 months before the wedding. This gives you adequate time to fix errors if there are any, as well as address, assemble, and mail them. They should be sent 6 to 8 weeks before the wedding.
Wedding invitations are an indication to your guests about the type of wedding they’re invited to, from the very formal to the very informal. It’s fine to add a touch of your personalities to the invitation, but stay away from wording that’s too hokey or graphics that devalue the elegance of the party you’re planning. For all but the most informal wedding invitations, all words (except Mr., Mrs., Dr., and other titles) should be spelled out.
Invitations to religious wedding ceremonies typically use the more formal wording “request the honour of your presence,” whereas invitations to civil ceremonies are worded “request the pleasure of your company.”
How to List the Hosts
Traditionally, the host of the party is listed first on the invitation. The names of those betrothed follow, along with the time, date, and place of the wedding. Following are examples of the wording choices for the most common configurations of who hosts the wedding.
When the bride’s parents host
Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Evans Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jane Ann
to
Mr. John David Jones
Saturday, the tenth of October
at five o’clock
St. Luke’s United Methodist Church
Saratoga Springs, New York
When the bride’s father holds a title
Dr. and Mrs. Patrick Evans Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jane Ann
to
Mr. John David Jones …
When the bride’s mother holds a title
Mr. Patrick Evans Smith
and
Dr. Marcy Hayden Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jane Ann …
When both the bride’s and the groom’s parents host
Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Evans Smith
and Mr. and Mrs. David Jeffrey Jones
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Miss Jane Ann Smith
and
Mr. John David Jones …
When the bride’s parents host but the groom’s parents want to be listed
Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Evans Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jane Ann
to
Mr. John David Jones
son of Mr. and Mrs. David Jeffrey Jones …
When the bride and groom host
Miss Jane Ann Smith
and Mr. John David Jones
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage …
When the bride’s mother is deceased
Mr. Patrick Evans Smith
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter …
When the bride’s father is deceased
Mrs. Patrick Evans Smith
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter …
Or:
Mrs. Marcy Hayden Smith
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter …
You don’t include the name of a deceased parent on a wedding invitation, but you can still honor that person on your wedding day. Light a memorial candle or display a special floral arrangement and mention its purpose in your bulletin. Or include a prayer or poem dedicated to their memory.
When both of the bride’s parents are deceased
Miss Jane Ann Smith
daughter of the late Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Evans Smith
and
Mr. John David Jones
request the honour of your presence …
When the bride’s parents are divorced and both are hosting
Mrs. (or Ms.) Marcy Hayden Smith
and
Mr. Patrick Evans Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jane Ann
to
Mr. John David Jones …
When the bride’s mother has remarried and she and her husband are hosting
Mr. and Mrs. Gary Thomas Rollins
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Jane Ann Smith
to
Mr. John David Jones …
When the bride’s father has remarried and they are hosting
Mr. and Mrs. Patrick Evans Smith
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Jane Ann
to
Mr. John David Jones …
Not naming parents
Jane Ann Smith and John David Jones
together with their parents
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage …
When the bride and groom have children they want listed
Jane Ann Smith
and
John David Jones
together with their children
Ella Ann Smith, Gregory James Smith, and
John David Jones Jr.
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage …
When live-in partners host the wedding
Mr. Daniel James Stedman
Mr. Stephen Adam Alston
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of Mr. Stedman’s daughter
Carolyn Grace
to Christopher Mark Burton …
When someone other than the bride’s parents host the wedding
Mrs. Mary Jane Smith
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her granddaughter
Jane Ann
to
Mr. John David Jones …
Now that you know what to say, you can move on to the fun part—picking out the invitations! For more wedding information, check out our Quick Guides Diamonds 101: Cut, Color, Clarity and More, and Creating a Seating Plan for Your Wedding Reception. Good luck, and have a great wedding!
From The Pocket Idiot’s Guide to Wedding Etiquette by Robyn S. Passante
